One week ago, I spent 8 days abroad, in a foreign country. I had limited access to wifi, hence less connection to the world. I had a great time there exploring new experience and trying new adventure despite a few family drama in between, I fully enjoyed my 8 days away from reality.
Two weeks ago, i left behind all my loneliness, my sorrow and my dilemma at where it belongs, untouched, undiscovered. I flew with my heart open, at ease for once, after months of struggling to find answers.
My younger brother suggested to do something meaningful during our 8 hours flight that may make us a better person, a rounder one as he claimed. I agreed, I set my mind to make a decision for my future, for my life. What we did was saddening though, we gambled through the flight and did nothing meaningful at all. That was also the last time my problem cross my mind.
That 8 days pass in a bliss and there I was standing at the waiting area after another exhausting 8 hours flight back that we spent attempting to sleep. That heat in Malaysia, that familiar scene marks the end of my holiday. I was ushered through the weekends that week, I spent my Saturday with my university friends who came to seremban for a visit and Sunday was spent at home where I rejuvenate myself after the trip.
Then Monday came. I dread to go back to work that Monday, I knew I have no reason to skip but for once, I really wanted to. If you know me, that says a lot. I am that person in primary school that no matter how late we were or how much I hated school, I would still go to school. Along the week, that fear, that loneliness, that so familiar feeling came hunting for me. I knew this was it, I knew I had to overcome it. I knew it is finally time to make a decision.
Was I able to figure out what was on my mind? Reluctantly, I knew what was needed to be solve but never had the initiative to.
There's a lot on my mind now. And since its 3:33am now and I should probably get some sleep before I need to face reality again.
Life goes on.
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